Patience is a virtue!

Patience has never been my favorite virtue! I hate waiting for anything and I a planner. I have found patience is harder when you like to plan for things. I am really trying to take this time that we are waiting to work on my patience. Hebrews 6:12 says "Through faith and patience we inherit the promises" It doesn't say "Have faith and you'll get what you want!" Those of you who are in the process of adopting or have gone through it previously know that adoption is a HUGE walk of faith. Many times Ryan and I have often felt like we were in the dark not knowing what is happening. At the beginning of the process you are busy with paperwork, getting things done. Then comes the home study and all goes well and you are approved. After that you begin the wait and that's where faith and patience really come into play. Not that you don't need them before hand you do! Our agency and our social worker are wonderful. We get updates every month and they always have trainings and classes that we can go to that are very helpful. Our social worker is truly the best she is always there to answer questions and is so patient with me. Even with the amazing support we have there are many times when we still feel in the dark not knowing what is happening or when it will.

Patience and faith go hand in hand. To have faith you have to have patience. Lest you think I am trying to sound like I am perfect (so wrong) I have to diligently work on this every day. Some days are better than others. There are times when I am out shopping at Target or Wal-Mart if I feel brave and adventurous and I swear babies are coming out of the wood work. It's like everywhere I turn I see a pregnant woman or a baby. On those days my patience takes a serious nose dive.  And then there are the days when I feel God's peace and I feel so reassured and calmed. I have found a verse that gives me tremendous peace and comfort. I hope that it helps al of you as well!

1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)

 ¹³No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.

Best Baby Products

Right after our homestudy was done and we were given the go ahead to adopt I started a baby registry. Some women that adopt wait until they have the baby to register and I totally understand that too. I started it because doing it made it all feel more real to me and lets face it it is fun! I had so much fun doing one at Babies R Us that I did one at Target too. Once we have received "the call" I'm sure I will go back and register for more specific items for a boy or a girl depending on what we have. Now I am obsessed with baby products. Because this is my first child I am sure I will be roped into buying things that I really don't need and I'm ok with that. I know all of the basic things that I need but I wonder what some of you mothers and fellow waiting to be mothers think are really great must haves. Is there something you have seen or used that made life easier or made baby happier?

Kids are hilarious!

So it has been almost 2 weeks now with no pop at all. I honestly thought it would be harder than it is. It hasn't been an issue at all. It wasn't a resolution to stop drinking it I just decided that it wasn't good for me and I haven't had it at all since then. Last week we had our niece Aby and our nephew Patrick stay with us. Pat is 3 and Aby is 2 they are adorable and so much fun. One afternoon while playing with Play Doh (I still love Play Doh) Patrick said to me "My new name is Patrick Star when I grow up I'm going to be a dragon." I didn't dash his dreams and tell him that was impossible on so many levels. I just asked him to make sure he was a good dragon and would he fly me and uncle Ryan around when we need to travel? It made me think of when I was younger (much younger) and I had a huge crush on Speed Racer. It never dawned on me that he didn't really exist or that he was a cartoon! Then there was my Monkee period. I was obsessed with The Monkees. I would watch them anytime they were on and would tell anyone that would listen or pretend they were listening that I was going to marry Micky Dolenz the drummer. I even carved "I Love Micky" into my parents brand new oak dining room table. That did not go over well!

I want my kids to have the same kind of dreams (well not about marrying a 25 year old drummer of a fictional TV band). I can't wait to hear the things that they say. I love spending time with our nieces and nephews and watching how they interact with life. Seeing the world through a child's eye is the best way to see. Patrick prayed at dinner one night and said "Dear Jesus, thank you for fruit snacks and Popsicles they are so good." We were at Target and I told them we would go look at the toys. Now I don't think I'm the only one who does this but I have a route that I follow when I go to stores and I rarely detour from that route.  So he's walking next to me (because he is a big boy now) and his sister is in the cart. I'm looking through the baby section checking out what is on clearance and Patrick looks at me exasperated and says "Ugh, if I we don't get to the toys soon I'm going to puke I'm so excited, look they are right there!" I wish I would have taken a video of it. Just typing about it doesn't do it justice it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen and heard from him.

Patrick

Aby

These are the things I look forward to and so much more. I can't wait to hear the funny things our kids say and do. Ryan tells me I'm pretty hilarious so I hope that rubs off on my children. But I can't wait to get to know their unique personality and see the world the way they see it.

This New Year

Christmas was blur! I remember being young and wishing time would fly. Now I see how fast time goes by and I realize how precious it is. Well I got my Wii for Christmas. It is as fun as I thought it would be. Although, I'm afraid that my high scores on The Beatles Rockband have deluded me to think I have a great singing voice! We had a great time with our family and our friends and I will always love the memories of Ryan and I opening our gifts together on Christmas morning. We don't go crazy with gifts for each other but it always amazes me the way he is so serious about what he gets for me. He searched to find books about the Tudor Dynasty for me (yes he is married to a nerd) and was so worried he may have got the wrong ones (he didn't). It makes the socks I got him look really bad!

I look forward to the new year for many reasons not just the possibility of our baby coming. I try to think of it as a chance to do better at everything. What ways can I be a better wife? How can I be a better friend? How can I continue to grow in my relationship with God? How can I be better to myself? We don't write resolutions we sit down and we make goals. Individual goals and our goals as a family. We love to get them out and see how far we have come and see how God has moved and really blessed us in so many ways.

Our profile will be shown to 2 birth mothers this week. I had the hardest time at first when this began happening. I would immediately begin envisioning that specific child in my arms and then be devastated when we weren't chosen. I still get excited when we get possible opportunities I don't know how you couldn't. I try to think of it as one step closer to the day when we do get the call. I didn't believe that this would get easier, But oddly enough it has. I love being able to pray for these babies and their mothers. I still get excited but I am excited to know they will be getting homes at all. I really find myself praying that the baby goes to someone in our local office. If one of these babies are ours then it will happen but I am so happy to know that another couple who has gone through the pain and tears that we have will get a call they pray for daily. I will be honest I find myself surprised that I'm not jealous. I am confident in God's goodness and I know that he is with us throughout the highs and the lows. To all of my friends who are waiting: I pray that this new year we get our calls and while we wait we cast all of our cares on God who will sustain us and uplift us! This will be a year of growth and joy!

To our precious baby:

To our precious, beautiful baby,

Today is Christmas and I cannot stop thinking about you. I can’t wait to see your eyes light up when you see the lights on all of the Christmas trees in the house. Mommy loves Christmas and I try to have a tree in every room even if they are small. We hung a stocking for you on the mantel. We will write your name on it in red glitter on your 1^st Christmas. In our family Christmas Eve is a big deal and last night all of mommy’s family came to our house to eat and open gifts and spend time together. Daddy and I showed everyone your room and they all love it! Everyone says that you will love it too. You will love your family they all can’t wait to meet you and kiss your cute little cheeks. When mommy was a little girl I always loved Christmas Eve and having all of my family together. I want you to have the same great memories of Christmas Eve too. Today on Christmas morning daddy and I slept in until after 8:00 and waited to open our gifts from each other. We hope this is the last year we can sleep in. We can’t wait for you to wake us up at the crack of dawn to open your Christmas gifts. Tomorrow we will go see your daddy’s family in Ohio and have another Christmas with them. So if you are counting that is 3 times for sure that you will be opening gifts and spending time with your family for Christmas. Daddy and I can’t wait to start our own Christmas traditions with you. I better tell you now that I plan on taking millions of pictures of you and plastering our walls and the walls of anyone else that will let me! So prepare for that! You will also be the star of our Christmas cards. Who will want a picture of me and daddy when they can have a picture of you with your doggies Violet and Ellie! I’m going to buy you an ornament every year and when you’re older I will decorate the tree with all of them and cry remembering all of the wonderful times we had together at Christmas. We will make cookies with all of your cousins and take you to see Santa if you want to. No matter what we do we will have fun. We love you so much and we can’t wait to hold you in our arms and love you. I haven’t laid my eyes on you yet and sometimes my heart feels like it could burst from the love I have for you now and to think that love will only intensify once we have you here with us. Daddy and I are trying very hard to be patient while we wait for you to arrive. We are so excited to meet you we think about you all the time. You are so loved by so many people already you will be such a blessed child. Now you know a little bit about what your Christmases will be like. Mommy and Daddy love you so very much and we can’t wait to hold you in our arms forever!!

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

A peak into the nursery!

So I'm very proud of how cute I think the baby's room is I wanted to share it! I will take more pics after Christmas because right now I have all of my unwrapped Christmas gifts in there don't want to give away any surprises people may be getting! I decided to do a Dr. Seuss theme because that is very gender neutral and I Love Dr. Seuss! I am a big reader and I plan on trying to instill that in my children as well. My Aunt helped me draw the images on the wall and then I have painted them. Dr. Seuss stuff is much harder to find than you would think but I did find a great Dr. Seuss Crib set from Trend Lab, I love Trend Lab and my mother otherwise known as "Grandma" bought it for us along with the mobile and diaper stacker. I like to go in there and look at the things people have given me and I thank God for those people who are supporting us and praying with us and then I pray and speak over our baby that will be coming to live in this room!

I'm a bad blogger!

So it has been a while. Not a whole lot going on really. My best friend who is more like my sister got married and I was the maid of honor. It was seriously the best wedding I have ever been to. Her husband is from Africa and so are many of their friends that were at the wedding and they are so friendly and welcoming we danced the night away. Even my Ryan danced who could not be more "white"! My adorable nephew Malik was carried down the aisle wearing his lil white tux he could not have been sweeter he is truly such an amazing little boy I love him so much!

We had our nieces and nephews with us for Thanksgiving I think that really kept me from getting down during the holiday. We had a great time with them they are always full of fun and excitement. Our profile was shown I think once or twice since the last time I blogged. It is getting easier when our profile is shown and we are not picked. Don't get me wrong I still start getting the feelings and thoughts like "what is wrong with us? or "did I look bad in that photo I put in the book?" and I still get a little disappointed when our social worker emails that it wasn't us. However, now I don't cry as long and and I don't get that defeated feeling. I'm happy for the ones that get the phone call they have been waiting for and then I thank God for our baby that he is preparing for us even now as I type!

I hung our stockings on the mantle  mine, Ryan's, Violet's and Ellie's (our Boston Terriers) and I also hung up a blank stocking for our baby! On Thanksgiving my nephew Lucas said "Hey, whose stocking is that? (pointing to the blank one) and I said "That's for our baby that will be coming" and he said "That's cool you better fill it soon!" Kids have such pure sweet faith I love it! I thought that I would be harder now around Christmas but I am excited for Christmas instead of thinking "This better be the last Christmas I have without a child."   I am thinking "This could be our last Christmas just the 2 of us so let's make it the best one!" If that means that Ryan gets me the Wii I have been asking him for then all the better!! Side note: I must be the only person alive without a Wii! Ryan laughs at me and says I could just go buy one anytime I want but it's not the same I say!!