Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I never knew.

Anytime I have ever thought about adoption or met someone who adopted or was placed for adoption I thought "Wow how hard that must be for everyone involved." Boy was I wrong! Hard does not come close to describing how it feels. Now I am only speaking as someone who is going to adopt a child. I can't even fathom how it is for someone who is faced with the decision of placing a child for adoption. We knew that this would not be an easy journey. We prayed and knew that this was what we were meant to do. We got armed with our faith in God and support from our family and best friends. Paper work-check, Home Study-check, birth parent letter-check, profile books-check, web profile-check, approved-check, waiting....................

Ryan is armed with the patience of Job, which comes in handy married to an excitable Italian like myself.  My patience however is somewhat lacking lets say.  I decided to start writing about this journey for several reasons. 1. Maybe my journey can help others. 2. It has already changed me in many ways and I can't wait to see how I have grown spiritually and personally when the journey comes to an end.

I will end my 1st post (because I am ignoring math homework I have) by saying this. I do not know how anyone could go through the adoption process without knowing God. You will face emotions and challenges that you never knew existed. If I didn't have faith in God I never would have got this far. I wouldn't have made it through the paperwork let alone waiting to see if we are chosen to adopt precious babies. Having faith in God doesn't mean that I don't have bad days or don't have feelings. There are days when I hurt so bad I want to lock myself in my bedroom and cry. Don't get me started on how I feel when I go to Wal-Mart! I know Ryan is afraid he will come home one day and see several small children and I"ll tell him I got them out of aisle 5 in Wal-Mart (I kid, I kid). However, having faith in God keeps me from laying in my bed crying, it keeps me alive with hope and promises because I serve a God that does not lie!


  1. I know the feeling so well, one day when you have that precious child/children that God has planned for you, you will look back and realize how short this time really is. God showed that to me with Nathan, that the three years of infertility tests and than the adoption how long that three years seemed while going through it, to how short the first three years of his life seemed. Now I even look back more and say where did the last almost 17 years go, I can't believe that little boy is going off to college next year. I am so glad you a blogging, it will help get those feelings out and it will be something to share with that precious little one. Remember I am here if you ever need to talk. - Deb

  2. Lori,

    We are praying for you on this journey! A bit of encouragement- we have dear friends who just adopted 4 siblings, 2 boys and 2 girls. I believe the ages range from 7 to 2. It will happen for you!

    Jen Jump

  3. I agree! I couldn't go through this process without being able to lean on God and draw my strength from Him! I'm glad you're blogging; I am on the bethany site too. I look forward to following your journey!

  4. Oh Lori~ you are going to be an awesome mom and you're right, God does have the perfect child, YOUR child for you. You already sound like a mom with your statement of "I do not know how anyone could go through the adoption process without knowing God" I said that about infants, and toddlers and pre-teens and now TEENS, oh my. And your Wal-Mart statement? After B we couldn't naturally conceive anymore and I wanted a big family. Every time I went to the store and a mom belittled at her child or ignored them screaming in the cart I felt like yelling "if you don't want to be a mommy,PLEASE I WILL TAKE YOUR PRECIOUS BABY!!". I never walked the road of adoption but I know your yearning. You, Ryan and your future children are in our prayers :). You have been a tremendous blessing to so many of our children and I know you are going to be a great mommy!!!
    ~Jenn McClain