Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Roller Coaster....

So your standing in line and your excited but a little nervous too. You sit down in the car and all seems good you start off slow and then it begins to pick up a bit. Then it gets faster and faster and your climbing a really big hill you look around and wow you're really high up there. Then all of a sudden you go rushing down a big huge hill to the bottom. Your stomach feels like it is still up on top of that big hill, you almost feel like you might get sick. Then it starts all over again. Well, if your me you get off the roller coaster and you do puke! This is what it's like while your waiting to adopt. It's a big huge roller coaster. You make the big decision to actually adopt and then you're excited and very hopeful. Then you begin waiting and you get really excited when you know your profile is being shown and very excited when you get emails about possible matches. Then you hold your breath and pray and wait on pins and needles while you wait to see if you are chosen. Then you find out that another couple was chosen and your back at square one.

It had been a while since we had any possible matches or emails about possibilities. Because of a very hard situation that occurred a little while back I had purposely tried very hard to not even think about adoption. That's a hard thing to do but I had gotten to the point where I was really handling it all really well. When you are walking in faith and believing for something you are believing for something that you cannot see. You are believing that what you don't see will exist. Getting to that point where you believe that in your heart and you can't be persuaded otherwise can take some time. Just last week we received an email about another possibility. Up the roller coaster again... It takes extreme patience and faith while your waiting to find out if you are chosen. You get excited and then you start thinking about all of the possible ways that this could all go down. Pins and needles time again. I am so thankful that I have gotten to the place where my faith is persuaded that no matter what this outcome is God is faithful and he is preparing our child for us even as I type this. He knows who they will be and he knows every hair on there head and oh the plans he has for them!!

There is a song that I love called "Before The Morning" and one part of it says:

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

1 comment:

  1. Lori, I absolutely love that song. God does have a wonderful plan for your children. When they arrive your life will never be the same, in a good way and a few sleep deprived ways as well. When we struggled to get pregnant, I did not understand. But we kept our faith and confessed that we had what we could not see. We did not get pregant because God knew that Cheyenne would need us as much as we needed her. One day the waiting will all make sense. In the meantime keep your eyes on the Lord and your heart filled with His Word, He is always faithfull. Love you guys! BethAnn