5 months.....

The past couple weeks have been extremely intense and emotionally exhausting. We were waiting to find out about a baby and we became very attached to this one. How can you get so attached to someone you have never met you ask? Well, it is very hard to explain but it happens. This possibility felt so real it was almost tangible. I get excited every time we get an email about a possible match. How could you not? That "possible match" could be my child. I want them to know that I was so excited about them from the moment I heard about them. Balancing that excitement-hope is where you have to have faith and strength. We will get a phone call if we are matched with a baby. So for the past 2 weeks anytime the phone rang I held my breath and silently and sometimes not so silently groaned when I knew it wasn't our social worker. Sorry for those of you who heard me say "Oh, it's just you!" We get an email when we aren't chosen. I got that email about this particular baby last week. We have had numerous emails just like this one but this "no" hurt very badly. I am so grateful for God and his peace that brought Ryan and I through this one.

Our social worker reminded me that God's timing is perfect all the time. I know that is true because of Ryan. I met Ryan in God's time. I waited for many, many years for Ryan and many times told God how ready I was to be married and begged him to let it happen soon. All I can say is THANK GOD FOR HIS PERFECT TIMING! If I wouldn't have waited I wouldn't have Ryan. God's timing was perfect then and it will be perfect this time too. He did it then and he will do it again. We have been officially waiting 5 months 2 days and about 16 hours now. I have no idea when we will meet our baby but I have absolute faith that God does. He has numbered every hair on our child's head and he has a tremendous plan and purpose for them.

So if you're "waiting" on something know that God's timing is perfect timing. That doesn't mean it won't be hard while you wait and that doesn't mean you won't shed some tears. It means you have an advocate on your side that has it all planned out for you!

A friend shared this excerpt with me from a book that she was reading. I think it sums it up pretty well!

WAITING is difficult. Waiting for a wayward child to return to God, waiting for a decision on a new career opportunity, waiting for the results of medical tests -- we spend a lot of time waiting. Life would be much easier if God acted according to our timetable!

However, when I look back over my life, I see that times of waiting were also times of great spiritual growth. While I was waiting, I learned to pray for the wayward child and I began to look at my own life in light of what God wanted for me. Over the days and years I opened my life to God and began to trust God's decisions and timing. I also learned that I do not always have the right answers and that God's ideas are better than I could ever imagine.

If I never had to wait, I would have no need for hope in God and I would say fewer prayers for God's guidance. In times of waiting, I have learned about God's faithfulness and found strength for the next challenge in my life. I trust God because my experience tells me that God has been faithful in the past and will continue to be faithful in the future.

Marie Willner (Florida, U.S.A.)