You never know.

So we were in a car accident yesterday. Praise God we are just fine! Someone hit the back of our car while going pretty fast may I say! Nobody was hurt in either car and Allstate is already on the ball!

As we go through this process to adopt we have heard such heartbreaking stories. Often we get information about a birth mother and her personal situation about why she is placing her child for adoption. We've had our profile shown several times and those mothers chose other families to adopt their children. We've also decided several times to not have our profile shown to birth mothers because we knew that the situation was not right for us. If you wonder it hurts just as bad when you decide not to have your profile shown as it does when your not chosen.

We often get some very personal information about the mothers and sometimes the fathers. Heartbreaking does not come close to some of the stories we've been told. Intense drug and alcohol use, rape, homelessness and babies born addicted. It's easy to get angry with the birth mothers and say "How could you do this to your precious baby?" These thoughts have crossed my mind and have come out of my mouth. Yes there needs to be accountability but you don't turn into a drug addict or alcoholic over night. These mothers have gone through intense hurt and pain in their lives.

This has opened my eyes in so many ways. These mothers and babies that we hear about could be the woman next door, the young girl in high-school, the woman in the cubicle next to you. You never know the hurt and pain that someone is enduring. I think about these babies and their mothers everyday. I pray for them and ask God to put people in their paths that will help them and show them the support they need.

Now What?

Everyone always says while you wait for your placement do the things you can't do once you have children. Sounds great but I want to do the things you can do with children. I can't wait to go to Disney, sorry Ryan we will be going there! I keep trying to convince Ry that we need to go to Italy now! But that's not responsible spending that kind of money when we need it for the adoption. So what am I doing? What will I do? Well, there's school have to finish that still proud that I got through college again in my thirties! I also love working on my nursery. I"ll post some pics soon. I'm doing a Dr. Seuss theme and my Aunt has helped me paint a mural on one of the walls. It's adorable and very gender neutral. I read books about parenting, read up on the latest trends in baby stuff and ask mothers about what has worked for them. Sometimes I just enjoy time alone having nothing to do at all. My time in prayer has been great, I've found such comfort and peace in my alone time with God this process is growing our faith so much and I'm grateful for that. I'm also getting excited about the upcoming holidays. I love this season. I love spending time with my family and friends. My best friend is getting married in December and I am thrilled I can't wait! I've been listening to Christmas music for weeks now. As I sing along to the music and organize my plan of attack for decorating, I say a prayer that this is the last Christmas we will spend without a baby. So these are some of the things that I will be doing while I wait. It may not be a trip to Italy or Disney but I can start planning for those trips now and I"ll be planning for at least 3 travelers !! :)